


Thor Makes Grape Juice

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Agender Natasha Romanov, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bigender Thor (Marvel), F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Multi, Trans Clint Barton, Trans Shuri, Trans Tony Stark, bucky lives in wakanda, get that straight shit outta here honey, group chat au, i just want the bitches to all be friends, i wanted to do a fix it felix without any detail, like???? time zones???? no, minus tonky and vision :), pretty OOC, steve and bucky are little shits, they/them pronouns, this isnt abt u honey, thor aimed for the head yall, yall some of this wont make sense in here bc idgaf abt logic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Okoye: jfc get fuckedLoki: i like youOkoye: i have a girlfriendLoki: i meant as a friend but okOkoye: sorry, i have a friend :/Loki: r00dWanda: back off hoeWanda: she/her, lebianOkoye: my lebian girlfriend saves meWanda: wow i hate myself--------------Shuri: wow four amazing trans buddies and three non-binary beauties :''''') we are blessedThot: best day to be alive :''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''')Loki: are you okay?Thot: :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''') i'm feeling blessedSpidey: me too thot me too :''''''''''''''''''')Shuri: thor is so soft I'm cryingVal: me too bitch me too





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the usernames aren't hard fjfjdkjd  
> it will literally be their names or nicknames so yeah (apart from Thor)  
> example:  
> Quill: Peter Quill  
> Steve: Steve Rogers  
> Val: Valkyrie 
> 
> see?

**Thor started a new group!**

**Thor added Bruce, Steve, Nat and 20 others to the group chat!**

 

10AM

 **Peter Parker** : i have literally no idea who you are

 **Thor:** It is I, Thot Odinson, God(ess) of Thunder, Best Avenger, King/Queen Of Asgard

 **Peter Parker:** thot odinson

 **Thor:** Thor*

 

**Peter Parker set Thor's name as Thot**

**Peter Parker set their own name as Spidey**

 

  **Steve:** You have never been the best avenger. Stop lying to yourself, Thot.

 **Nat:** who knew steve could swear

 **Bruce:** tut tut disgusting 

 **Steve:** Wait, what?

 **Bruce:** oooooo did you not know thot was a bad word

 **Steve:** Oh, no, wait.

 **Bucky:** bitch stfu you always swore before

 **Steve:** no i didnt

 **Bucky:** uhm yes you did

 **Steve:** hmmmmm i dont think so

 **Nat:** maybe the old age is getting to him

 **Nat:** finally

 **Bucky:** yES YOU DID 

 **Spidey:** wow bucky is really pulling it out of the bag this time

 **Spidey:** better watch out there cap

 **Steve:** literally shut up

 **Bucky:** stop bullying little kids

 **Spidey:** i'm not a little kid but sure

 **Steve:** @Bucky he literally cellotaped your dumb ass to the floor 

 **Bucky:** ok and now i have two boyfriends so turns out life just gets better

 **Steve:** yeah but me too

 **T'Challa:** I'm the best boyfriend anyone could ever have

 **Steve:** are you though

 **T'Challa:** yes

 **Steve:** understandable

 **Steve:** have a nice day

 **Nat:** @Rhodey @Sam STEVE SAID ASS

 **Spidey:** ooooooooooooo

 **Rhodey:** he said fuck yesterday

 **Sam:** he said dick this morning

 **Nat:** do i wanna know context

 **Sam:** he tripped

 **Nat:** oh

 **Nat:** well that's boring how did he trip

 **Rhodey:** its steve? aka the dorkiest piece of shit going?

 **Nat:** fair but that doesn't explain

 **Rhodey:** he tripped over nothing, nat

 

11AM

 **Spidey:** can we do pronouns and sexualities and shit bc i dont wanna be thought of as a straightie :(

 **T'Challa:** VALID

 **T'Challa:** he/him, pansexual

 **Spidey:** he/him (trans), gay bitch

 **Nat:** they/them (agender), ace/aro

 **Mantis:** she/her, lesbian

 **Nebula:** she/her, lesbian in a nice lesbianism with Mantis

 **Nat:** they're lesbianism together, harold

 **Nebula:** my favourite avenger here to save the day

 **Nat:** that's me

 **Gamora:** she/her, bi

 **Steve:** he/him, bi

 **M'Baku:** he/him, most gay

 **Spidey:** are you sure about that

 **M'Baku:** yes

 **Spidey:** ive never met you but you put fear in me so i will agree

 **Bruce:** he/him, pan fucker

**Nat:** _bruce please_

**Bruce:** pansexual

 **Thot:** they/them (bigender), pansexual

 **Val:** she/her, bi

 **Quill:** he/him, bi

 **Shuri:** she/her (trans), lesbean

 **Spidey:** trans buddies :)

 **Shuri:** :)

 **Bucky:** he/him, bi

 **Rocket:** I'm a fucking racoon but call me he and i guess I'm ace or some shit idk 

 **Drax:** he/him, pan

 **Loki:** they/them (genderfluid), bi

 **Tony:** choke

 **Loki:** maybe on your boyfriend

 **Tony:** ew gross

 **Loki:** ;;;;;;;)

 **Thot:** Loki, that's a lot of winking are you ok

 **Thot:** are you having a stroke

 **Loki:** ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;)

 **Thot:** :/

 **Tony:** he/him (trans), bi

 **Okoye:** she/her, bi

 

**Loki set Tony's name as Toby Starch**

 

 **Okoye:** jfc get fucked

 **Loki:** i like you

 **Okoye:** i have a girlfriend

 **Loki:** i meant as a friend but ok

 **Okoye:** sorry, i have a friend :/

 **Loki:** r00d

 **Wanda:** back off hoe

 **Wanda:** she/her, lebian

 **Okoye:** my lebian girlfriend saves me

 **Wanda:** wow i hate myself

 **Clint:** he/him (trans), bi

 **Rhodey:** he/him, gay

 **Sam:** he/him, bi

 **Stephen:** he/him, pan

 **Toby Starch:** you're late babe

 **Stephen:** and you're a little shit

 **Toby Starch:** very rude

 **Loki:** also very true :/

 **Stephen:** Loki you're my favourite god(ess) now and i pray to you

 **Loki:** it's only natural

 **Toby Starch:** stop stealing my boyfriend

 **Loki:** again, it's only natural ;)

 **Shuri:** wow four amazing trans buddies and three non-binary beauties :''''') we are blessed

 **Thot:** best day to be alive :''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''')

 **Loki:** are you okay?

 **Thot:** :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''') i'm feeling blessed

 **Spidey:** me too thot me too :''''''''''''''''''')

 **Shuri:** thor is so soft I'm crying

 **Val:** me too bitch me too

 **Bruce:** they actually are omg you don't understand

 **Shuri:** no i really do understand :'')

 **Nat:** it hurts doesn't it

 **Loki:** i had to live with it my whole life and,,,,,, they really are the softest

 **Thot:** thankies

 **Shuri:** HOLY SHIT THERES LIVING TEARS IN MY EYES JHFODFIOJLPS

 **Val:** thor jcxhiojdsadkf I'm crying ddjdlsnd i love you so much what the fuck

 **Bruce:** IM ISOJDNFDHSIASO WOW IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

 **Spidey:** the keyboard smashing trinity rises

 **Spidey:** Thot Odinson, Odindaughter, Odinchild. The softest avenger. The God(ess) of thunder and kittens. Icon. Living paper tissue. Soft.

 **Bruce:** honestly,,,,,,,,,living paper tissue is the most factual thing I've ever heard,,,,,,,,,,

 **Spidey:** i know :)

 

1PM

 **M'Baku:** i lobe my boyfrieknsd

 **Val:** smae :'')

 **Steve:** i reelateg

 **Gamora:** i love one (1) man

 **Nebula:** my girlkfriendf iss perfedct

 **Wanda:** yokeo is amzing 

 **Stephen:** i can't relate to any of you

**Okoye:** _did you just call me yokeo_

**Nat:** I'm single

 **Shuri:** same

 **Spidey :** same

 **Loki:** same

 **Stephen:** @nat you're aro/ace

 **Nat:** hmm you're right maybe that's why

 **Stephen:** probably

 **Wanda:** yokeo I'm sorry but it's on your birth certificate

 **Okoye:** no it isnt

 **Wanda:** fuck you're right

 **Wanda:** the joke was to misspell 

 **Okoye:** i'll forgive you

 **Wanda:** thanks :)

 **Okoye:** :)

 **Wanda:** you're so fucjing cute I'm crying

 **Okoye:** :) don't cry :)

 **Wanda:** oh my lordy I'm weak

 **Toby Starch:** @Stephen stop bullying me fuckface

 **Stephen:** :(

 **Toby Starch:** wow i love you I'm sorry

 **Stephen:** thanks 

 

3PM

 **Steve:** @Bucky do you wanna eat watermelon with me

 **Bucky:** i'm not gay

 **Steve:** bitch it's a watermelon

 **Steve:** i didn't ask you to suck my dick? 

 **Steve:** YOU LITERALLY HAVE TWO BOYFRIENDS WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

 **Bucky:** bi erasure

 **Steve:** I'm bi

 **Nat:** @everyone STEVE IS SWEARING HDJSOKA

 **Bucky:** ew don't clump me together with you 

 **Bucky:** I'm bi buddies with Gamora get outta here 

 **Steve:** DO YOU WANT SOME WATERMELON OR NOT YOU RAT

 **Bucky:** duh? no shit, steve? @gamora what a fucking idiot, right?

 **Steve:** i cannot believe i betrayed my country for this

 **Bucky:** neither can i but that's your problem

 

4PM

 **Gamora:** sorry i was being shot but yes steve is a fucking idiot

 **Rocket:** you weren't being shot because you were asleep

 **Gamora:** i was being shot in my dreams ok

 **Drax:** are you okay?

 **Gamora:** I'm fine

 **Quill:** you do know you can speak in person

 **Rocket:** says the one who just took the time to type that out and send it

 **Gamora:** peter is biggest idiot

 **Spidey :** disclaimer- not me

 **Rocket:** you're the better peter

 **Spidey :** thanks but #ProtectQuill

 **Gamora:** that's fair 

 **Mantis:** #ProtectQuill

 **Drax:** #ProtectQuill

 **Nebula:** #KillQuill

 **Rocket:** now you're speaking my language #KillQuill

 **Spidey :** Gamora you lead us

 **Gamora:** ugh do i have to

 **Spidey :** you're dating him

 **Gamora:** ugh do i have to

 **Quill:** this is so rude

 **Quill:** @nebula I'm stealing your girlfriend because mine hates me

 **Nebula:** i will fucking end you

 **Quill:** @nebula you can take her back

 **Gamora:** i dont hate you peter

 **Spidey :** thanks

 **Nebula:** i do

 **Spidey :** ME?

 **Nebula:** not you

 **Spidey :** thanks

 **Quill:** can we add groot

 **Rocket:** YES

 **Gamora:** no because he'll just say "I am Groot" and not everyone can translate that

 **Gamora:** plus you can't translate it over message

 **Quill:** yes you can

 **Gamora:** no you can't? literally everything is the same in his language? plus you can shut because you cANT TRANSLATE IT ANYWAY

 **Quill:** thor or rocket could probably translate it

 **Thot:** what if i dont feel like it

 **Gamora:** the god(ess) has spoken and that is final

 

**Quill added Groot to the group chat!**

 

 **Gamora:** i hate you

 **Groot:** y'all are gay

 **Gamora:** what

 **Quill:** i am the most confusion

 **Rocket:**???????????

 **Groot:** G A Y 

 **Gamora:** literally what is happening

 **Rocket:** is there a translator or???????????????????????????????????????????

 **Groot:** don't do me dirty, i know English but i can't physically speak it 

 **Groot:** you can all choke

 **Gamora:** my mind has melted

 **Nebula:** Groot stfu i literally put a translator in your communicator two minutes ago

 **Groot:** suddenly i can't read

 **Nebula:** and you wonder why i hate all of you

 **Nebula:** apart from Mantis

 **Mantis:** :D

 **Nebula:** wow i love you

 **Mantis:** i know

 **Groot:** MANTIS JUST G R I L L E D YOUR ROBOTIC HEADASS

 **Nebula:** you can make paper from trees right

 **Groot:** please don't 

 **Mantis:** i love you too nebula

 **Nebula:** happy times

 

8PM

 **Bucky:** i wanna start shit

 **Bucky:** steve is dumb

 **Steve:** bitchhhhh what are you chatting

 **M'Baku:** this is a mess and i hate it

 **Wanda:** since when does steve swear like this

 **Steve:** since i sat on sams dick

 **Wanda:** GOKGFJIDBSH SHUT

 **Bucky:** holy shit steve shut up there are kids and lesbians

 **Wanda:** IM A LESBIAN

 **Bucky:** we know

 **M'Baku:** breaking news: steve rogers aka captain....not America offends lesbians and kids by sitting on Falcon's dick

 **Bucky:** jdsifbwe I'm yodelling

 **Wanda:** "captain not America" jpidsafh

 **Steve:** @bucky your boyfriend is mean

 **T'Challa:** captain white pussy bitch spreads his legs and lesbians get scared; the box set

 **Bucky:** jdsifuhwisa IM CRYING I LOVE YOU BOTH TOO MUCH JIDOSKJFH

 **M'Baku:** i'm gone

 **Steve:** @bucky your boyfriends are really mean

 **Bucky:** i really don't care because they're funny and i love them

 **Shuri:** Captain "watermelon isn't gay" sits on dick and makes lesbians cry; now in opera

 **Okoye:** captain "language" of "i betrayed America and nearly died in the process" talks about sitting on dick and betrays lesbian's trust; by fall out boy

 **Bucky:** i love wakanda

 **T'Challa:** me too

 **Steve:** y'all are mean

 

9PM

 **Bruce:** thor smashed a grape and saved the universe

 **Nat:** without context that sounds really dumb

 **Steve:** he can smash me if he wants

 **Nat:** steve,,,,sweetie,,,,do you not learn from your past mistakes

 **T'Challa:** he is a lot dumber than i gave him credit for

 **Rhodey:** steve you literally have two boyfriends

 **Bruce:** back off my man bitch ass

 **Val:** get off my man bitch ass

 **Thot:** he was never on me but go off i guess

 **Thot:** Steve actually shut up 

**Thot:** _can't touch this_

**Steve:** suddenly i retract my statement

 **T'Challa:** am pissing this is so funny

 **Nebula:** can you all be quiet yet what the fuck is tHIS

 **Nebula:** i really wanna rip your faces off all of a sudden jwiebh

 **Mantis:** that'd be hot

 **Nebula:** you're hot

 **Mantis:** drax doesn't think so

 **Nebula:** drax can choke

 **Quill:** stop bullying drax

 **Drax:** :(

 **Nebula:** you can choke too quill

 **Drax:** :)

 **Quill:** drax that isn't a good thing

 **Drax:** not for you

 **Quill:** not for you either really

 

11PM

 **Stephen:** who knew thor was a bookworm jock and a chaotic valid 

 **Thot:** a what and a what

 **Stephen:** you're clever, buff and nice

 **Val:** speaking the truth

 **Val:** you're a wizard too so you're even more right

 **Bruce:** science has confirmed it

 **Thot:** you two make me weak

 **Val:** false

 **Bruce:** you cannot be weak

 **Thot:** too late it happened

 **Val:** impossible

 **Thot:** how did it happen then

 **Val:** it didn't

 **Thot:** i can't move

 **Bruce:** are you for real

 **Thot:** no just tired

 **Val:** but i'm already in an uber

 **Thot:** WHERE

 **Thot:** ITS 11 PM AT THE NIGHT WHY ARE YOU IN AN UBER

 **Val:** idk where are you

 **Thot:** avengers tower place thing

 **Bruce:** i know i'm already here but can i come

 **Thot:** yes

 **Quill:** i'm literally in space

 **Val:** ok

 **Quill:** just thought i'd remind you that i don't know what uber is

 **Val:** SHUT UP 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, i love t'challa and would die for him :)

6AM

 **Shuri:** wow I'm gay

 **Spidey:** mmmm same

 **Nebula:** me too

 **Thot:** aren't we supposed to save the universe

 **Nebula:** not my problem

 **Spidey:** what if i don't feel like it

 **Shuri:** ew do we have to

 **Spidey:** dkfdhs no we dont

 **Thot:** you literally chose to do this

 **Thot:** I'm also pretty sure we have to or we'll die

 **Nebula:** pity

 **T'Challa:** literally shut up shuri

 **Shuri:** can you die again 

 **T'Challa:** why

 **Shuri:** because 

 **T'Challa:** did i really raise you to be like this

 **Shuri:** you didn't raise shit bitch

 **T'Challa:** shut up

 **Shuri:** @everyone T'Challa is being racist

 **T'Challa:** no I'm not

 **Shuri:** HMMMM WHAT IS THIS THEN

 **T'Challa:** NOT RACIST

 **T'Challa:** ARE WE EVEN SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE RIGHT NOW

 **T'Challa:** go back to sleep

 **Shuri:** no 

 **Shuri:** you

 **T'Challa:** I'm older than you

 **Shuri:** I'm gayer than you

 **Thot:** oh she got you there

 **T'Challa:** i am a man in a gay relationship with two mens

 **T'Challa:** how many girlfriends do you have???

 **T'Challa:** HMMM THATS WHAT I THOUGHT

 **T'Challa:** YOU HAVE NONE. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA

 **Shuri:** that's pretty gay, t'challa

 **T'Challa:** yes. i know it is.

 **T'Challa:** nobody can out gay me 

 **Thot:** you're pan

 **T'Challa:** so are you

 **Spidey:** you're pan

 **T'Challa:** damn you got me there

 **Spidey:** i am the ultra-gay bow before me

 **M'Baku:** i thought we agreed that i was most gay

 **Spidey:** you are most gay and i bow before you

 

9AM

 **Gamora:** deadass @Quill

 **Gamora:** you can burn

 **Quill:** lmao why now

 **Nebula:** she doesn't need a reason

 **Gamora:** ^ yeah no i dont

 **Gamora:** i have no reason straightup i just want you to burn

 **Nebula:** tbh i really want you to burn too bitch

 **M'Baku:** this is a lot and i didn't sign up to any of it

 **Gamora** : ugh please burn

 **Quill:** ok 

 **Nebula:** whipped

 **Quill:** shhhhh robotic headass

 **Gamora:** groot was first

 **M'Baku:** justice for groot

 **Nebula:** cant you write with quills

 **Quill:** please don't write with my blood and bones

 **Nebula:** beg

 **Quill:** that's really kinky but i'm dating your sister :/ no can do

 **Nebula:** @gamora you're single now because i killed your boyfriend

 **Gamora:** thanks

 

11AM

 **T'Challa:** isn't it millennials that are meant to be addicted to their phones

 **Toby Starch:** yeah

 **T'Challa:** don't talk to me

 **T'Challa:** @Spidey isn't it supposed to be millennials that are meant to be addicted to their phones

 **Spidey:** yeah

 **T'Challa:** M'Baku is a millennial 

 **Spidey:** oh ya? confirmed?

 **T'Challa:** confirmed

 **M'Baku:** you're on this gc more than i am 

 **T'Challa:** you googled the definition of pasta because your pasta was too hot

 **M'Baku:** what else was i supposed to do

 **Bucky:** cool the pasta down

 **T'Challa:** you could've literally done anything

 **Bucky:** didn't @Okoye ask him to help her whilst he was waiting for it to cool down

 **Okoye:** yes i did

 **Spidey:** when was this

 **T'Challa:** literally like,,,,,, an hour ago

 **M'Baku:** i wasn't going to leave my pasta because a fiend like shuri would come and eat it

 **Shuri:** true

 **Bucky:** tbh i wouldn't have stopped her

 **Shuri:** ily2 buckaroo 

 **Bucky:** aoijfnhsiew @T'Challa your sister is adorable

 **T'Challa:** I'm better

 **Shuri:** fuck off

 **Bucky:** ehhhhhhhhhhh

 **T'Challa:** sdjjkjvxcks why are you bullying me all of a sudden

 **Bucky:** I'm joking ily <3

 **Steve:** idk that's pretty gay

 **Bucky:** new mission: kill steve

 **Steve:** you already tried pal

 **Bucky:** and i failed unfortunately

 **Rhodey:** unfortunately 

 **Sam:** unfortunaetly

 **Steve:** why do you all hate me

 **Steve:** @sam you can't even spell

 **Sam:** no but i can beat your ass

 **Steve:** i wouldn't stop you

 **Shuri:** you're all gross and i hate you

 **Bucky:** why does steve make everything sexual

 **Steve:** i spent 70 years as a fucking ice cube excuse me if i'm a bit sexually frustrated

 **Bucky:** was it a constant cold shower

 **Steve:** i was literally unconscious 

 **Sam:** that doesn't answer the question

 **Rhodey:** bucky was done fucked over for 70 years too stfu pussy

 **Steve:** you're supposed to support me not him

 **Rhodey:** all i could see was the words "not" and "me"

 **Sam:** I'm blind all of a sudden

 **Shuri:** you might as well give up @Steve

 **Steve:** hnnnnnnnnn I've never given up on anything ever and I'm like 100

 **Bucky:** you gave up on tony

 **Steve:** I've given up on one thing ever and i'm like 100

 **Bucky:** rot

 **Steve:** i should have by now

 **Bucky:** why haven't you

 **Steve:** i'm not fuccin dead yet

 **Rhodey:** keep being a dick and that'll change soon enough

 **Steve:** sorry

 

1PM

 **T'Challa:** does anyone want any professional choking lessons

 **Bucky:** sdjdsoj babe please don't

 **T'Challa:** james can teach you 

 **T'Challa:** his lessons are free

 **Bucky:** sjdkdf 

 **M'Baku:** oh wow i still remember that

 **M'Baku:** a plague to my brain

 **M'Baku:** hot though

 **Bucky:** i'm crying please stop

 **T'Challa:** are you actually crying

 **Bucky:** no 

 **T'Challa:** GOOD

 **T'Challa:** @M'Baku it was half an hour ago

 **M'Baku:** ok fine it's nice and fresh in my memory

 **Bucky:** holy shit @Thot kill me

 **Bucky:** @everyone crush my skull collectively 

 **Bucky:** it's a form of mercy

 **Thot:** you just brought more attention to the fact you hate yourself

 **Bucky:** FUCK

 **T'Challa:** jfc dumbass

 **Bucky:** choke

 **T'Challa:** that's your job, sweetie :)

 **Bucky:** thanks

 

2PM

 **Val:** thor,,,,,

 **Bruce:** our husband, our darling

 **Thot:** we aren't married

 **Val:** you were forged from the heart of a dying star

 **Bruce:** every day i thank the universe for bringing you to us

 **Val:** and tonight no different

 **Bruce:** our precious thunderbolt

 **Spidey:** this is cringey but i love it

 **Shuri:** it's not cringey it's beautiful

 **Spidey:** damn you're right

 **Val:** you are so perfect and so strong and i am just so glad you came back safe for us

 **Bruce:** we love you and need to remind you of this constantly

 **Nat:** this is so beautiful

 **Wanda:** sjoais okoye why don't you treat me like this

 **Okoye:** i do and ily my beautiful girlfriend

 **Wanda:** ily2 my strong babe

 **Thot:**...

 **Shuri:** skdslf omg

 **Thot:** i'm crying

 **T'Challa:** why do i feel like that isn't hyperbole

 **Thot:** i'm actually crying i love you both so much it hurts what the fuck 

 **Loki:** holy shit i think i have emotions because i am stunned by how much i love this

 **Thot:** Vallll,,,,,,,,, you're so beautiful and strong and amazing and deserve so much and i hope you live forever because you're more beautiful than nature and space itself!!! Bruceeeeee,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you're jshf you're so good honestly and you have a heart of gold and when i think of you i start tearing up because you and val are the best things that have ever happened to me and bruce you're more beautiful than anything science can offer

 **T'Challa:** i'm crying now

 **Loki:** thor,,, that was so soft wow 

 **Stephen:** amazing 90/10

 **M'Baku:** stunned

 **Spidey:** i'm speechless

 **Shuri:** holy shit i need me a thor

 **Nat:** jdsoidhf 

 **Bucky:** this is how i die

 **Okoye:** i'm shaken

 **Wanda:** @okoye me too bc i'm actually shaking

 **Gamora:** siojs this makes me want to treat peter better

 **Mantis:** Nebula, I want to speak to you after this.

 **Nebula:** reciprocated 

 **Val:** thor,,,,,, wow,,,,, babe,,,,,,

 **Toby Starch:** bruce is crying and can't type but he's muttering about how perfect you are @thor

 **Thot:** where is he

 **Thot:** come here @Val

 **Val:** be there in five

 **Toby Starch:** lab

 **Thot:** i'm coming to get him and then we will cry together and be happy and i will sob at both his and val's smiles

 **Spidey:** best thing to happen literally ever: valkyriethorbruce

 

5PM

 **Wanda:** @okoye bench press me

 **Okoye:** sure where are you

 **Wanda:** are you being serious????

 **Okoye:** yes? sure, where you at?

 **Wanda:** i,,,, i honestly didn't think i would get this far,,,

 **Okoye:** WHERE ARE YOU

 **Wanda:** NO

 **Okoye:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO

 **Wanda:** you're in wakanda how could you get here

 **Okoye:** i'll find a way

 **Wanda:** you're so sweet

 **Shuri:** lesbians

 **Okoye:** that's wanda and this is bi erasure

 **Nat:** Wanda- "i want you to crush me" 

 **Nat:** Okoye:  ***ZOOMS***

 **Shuri:** it's true

  **M'Baku** **:** she left wakanda without warning for six hours because wanda couldn't find the remote

 **Mantis:** They spent six hours looking for a remote?

  **M'Baku** **:** i don't think so. but that's why okoye originally went

 

7PM

  **M'Baku** **:** @spidey how are you

 **Spidey:** i'm good thanks 

 **Spidey:** how are you

  **M'Baku** **:** in emotional distress

 **Spidey:** WHY

 **T'Challa:** WHAT HAPPENED

 **Bucky:** i'm gonna grill someone

  **M'Baku** **:** grill @okoye

 **M'Baku:** after i told the remote story she told me what really happened and now i want death

 **Okoye:** it's what you deserve

 **M'Baku:** i did nothing wrong

 **Okoye:** k

 **M'Baku:**???

 **Spidey:** well

 **T'Challa:** just gonna presume you deserved it

 **Bucky:** ^

**M'Baku:** _o i see how it is_

       

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh this one is shit but the next one will be better because i have plans


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, i graduated yesterday but all i care about is thor
> 
> next chapter will be better sorry about this

9AM

 **Shuri:** hey binches 

 **Spidey:** I'm in school please choke

 **Shuri:** hey binches

 **Okoye:** heyheyhey 

 **Wanda:** jdsiif my girlkfkd is cuyte

 **Okoye:** we know

 **Quill:** i cannot believe gamora has a sixth sense

 **Okoye:** what

 **Quill:** she's like an oven?

 **Okoye:** are we speaking the same language

 **Okoye:** is this binary code

 **Thot:**???!!!! BINARY???? WHO'S THEY

 **Nat:** i wouldn't know

 **M'Baku** **:** i'm being murdered scoob

 **Okoye:** we'll get back to that later @m'baku

 **Okoye:** @Quill what you chatting dumbass

 **Quill:** she like an oven because she roasts me

 **Spidey:** how original

 **Quill:** go back to your dumb spelling bee

 **Spidey:** die

 **Quill:** dw gamora will kill me

 **Okoye:** this still doesn't explain the whole sixth sense thing

 **Quill:** whenever someone compliments me, she is usually there to chargrill me

 **Nat:** wow quill i like your hair

 **Gamora:** bet he used the leftovers from when he sucked egos dick to style it

 **Quill:** what the fuck

 **Okoye:** wow that's fucking gross

 **Spidey:** yoooooo

 **Thot:** Quill? wow, you look as handsome as ever!

 **Gamora:** when quill first got a crush on me he wrote me a note that said "get off my ship and freeze"

 **Thot:** that isn't how you treat gamora 

 **Gamora:** facts

 **Spidey:** damn quill you're really great!

 **Gamora:** he's straight

 **Spidey:** DOHUDFIHSJ

 **Thot:** @quill YOU'RE STRAIGHT

 **Shuri:** sorry this gc is for non straighties

 **Loki:** heterostraights aren't welcome :/

 **Quill:** IM NOT STRAIGHT FJIJSDFJKDKF

 **Quill:** @Okoye @Steve @Val @Bucky @Loki @Toby Starch @Clint @Sam THIS IS BI ERASURE PLEASE

 **Quill:** @Gamora YOU ARE BI WHY ARE YOU BI ERASING

 **Gamora:** i'm not bi erasing shit

 **Toby Starch:** do you know what bi erasure is

 **Quill:** shut

 **Val:** literally choke

 **Val:** THOR YOU'RE DOING AN AMAZING JOB SWEETIE

 **Thot:** THANK YOU VALLLLLLL

 **Val:** i'm sobbingg

 **Loki:** you did this to yourself @quill

 **Clint:** @gamora stop bullying this dumbass @quill shut up

 **Quill:** hrmmMMMMMMMMM

 

10AM

 **Bucky:** i love T'Challa and M'Baku 

 **T'Challa:** <3

 **Bucky:** SDDFHUSAI CHALL IM CRYING THAT IS SO CUTE

 **M'Baku:** <3

 **Bucky:** STOP VDJKSDK

 **Sam:** i hate steve and love rhodey

 **Steve:** but i lobe you

 **Sam:** ok

 **Steve:** do you actually hate me

 **Toby Starch:** i hate you

 **Rhodey:** LITERALLY DIE YOU WHITE HAIRY RICH BITCH TOE(NY) LOOKING HEADASS 

 **Rhodey:** i lobe you steve :)

 **Steve:** my hero :''''') ily rhode

 **Sam:** so glad rhodey came to the light

 **Bucky:** not the only thing he came to

 **Sam:** up fuck the shut

 **Sam:** @Toby Starch BITCH WHAT ARE YOU CHATTING I WILL DEAD FUCKING STRAIGHT GIVE YOU A NEGATIVE REVIEW ON ALL YOUR SHIT MOVIES PUSSY BITCH

 **Bucky:** movies????

 **Sam:** i also very love to steve @steve yes too

 **Rhodey:** literally what did you just type out

 **Steve:** beautiful :'') thank you sam ily too

 **Steve:** he said he loves me and he is sorry that it ever seemed like he actually hated me

 **Rhodey:** what the fukc

 **Rhodey:** how th f u ck did you get that

 **Sam:** love every steve love @steve steve love good

 **Rhodey:** is there another fckinhj language i need to learn to understand what the fuck sam is saying

 **Bucky:** yeah it's called bullshit and 90% of it is the word "steve"

 **Bucky:** he just said that he loves steve because steve is a good guy and deserves all the love in the multiverse

 **Rhodey:** why do you understand what he's saying

 **Rhodey:** i am dating him and i have zero idea what he is fucking typing out with his own fingers

 **Thot:** heck

 **Bruce:** LITERALLYB CDP-OKF

 **Val:** BRB IM SOBBING SO HARD I CANNOT BREATHE dnsjoid

 **Shuri:** SDSDJHFUSWUEIOLDK THORR,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **Spidey:** the keyboard smashing trinity rises

 **Spidey:** part two: electric boogaloo 

 **Steve:** the keyboard smashing trinity squared

 **Spidey:** when will be cubed

 **Steve:** soon,,,,,,,

 **Val:** @thot babbe,,,,,what dol yopu measn

 **Steve:** i think bruce might be actually crying

 **Val:** i'm, actuallyh cryidng, bruuce is juest unablke to breeeathe rn

 **Val:** my screenw is wet and it is hardd to tyeop

 **Steve:** moist

 **Val:** i will not hesitaiete to killlllllllll youi-o

 **Thot:** rhodey swore too much :(

 **Val:** DIFJFUWEIOQP[;SDL,KL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Shuri:** SDKOWEPEPROIJGURIOLRFHUID IMMMMMMM OH MY GOFD

 **Bruce:** i cannot do thi s fjdkwopqeoijhrfil

 **Thot:** i know i swear but he said fuck too much :(

 **Shuri:** rhODEY

 **Rhodey:** brb i'm being a coward because i made an angel frown

 **Thot:** its okay rhodey don't be a coward :)

 **Val:** KADIOJSUF IM YELLING

 **Bruce:** I'm in pain.

 **Thot:** BRUCE ARE YOU 0OKAY?????????????????????????

 **Bruce:** oh mY GOD

 **Loki:** you called

 **Loki:** oh,,,,,,thor,,,,,

 **Thot:** bRUCE

 **Bruce:** I'm okay! just crying from how amazing you are :)

 **Thot:** okie dokie

 **Bruce:** FUCK

 **Val:** HOLY SHUIT

 **Shuri:** I CANT DO THIS DSIJOAD-P WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED

 **Loki:** i would die from this but i'm already immune

 **Thot:** you've died like seven times already

 **Loki:** gods live forever

 **Thot:** ew gross i hate that

 **Bruce:** @val thor is perfect how do we deserve

 **Val:** i honestly don't know bruce

 

11AM

 **Okoye:** i just realised i never got back to @m'baku about how he is supposedly being murdered

 **Okoye:** @m'baku how you living 

 **M'Baku:** i am not

 **T'Challa:** you are over reacting honestly

 **M'Baku** **:** i am not

 **T'Challa:** i mean you literally forgot about your supposed dying until someone else brought it up

 **T'Challa:** but go off i guess

 **M'Baku** **:** you threw a whole bread at me

 **Okoye:** like whole wheat bread or a whole loaf of bread

 **M'Baku** **:** both

 **T'Challa:** you deserved it 

 **Shuri** **:** bread cannot physically harm you

 **M'Baku** **:** you seem to forget that it was your brother who threw it

 **M'Baku** **:** you know??? the black panther????

 **Bucky:** wooooahhhh you're the black panther????? woahhh I'm having an otherworldly experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

 **M'Baku** **:** shut up

 **Okoye:** why did he do it

 **Bucky:** yeahhhh bakuuuu whyyy 

 **M'Baku** **:** i will actually flick you

 **Shuri:** oop he will get you for that

 **Okoye:** i love how flicking is the most he will do because it's james

 **Bucky:** oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo realllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 **Bucky:** challaaaaaaaaaaaaaa our boyfriend is evilllllll and threatened meeee

 **M'Baku** **:** oh my god

 **T'Challa:** you chatting shit, m'baku?

 **Shuri** **:** jksahdli;s he's here

 **Okoye:** i think i know why he threw bread at you

 **T'Challa:** i will throw a whole person at you this time

 **Okoye:** who are you sacrificing for james

 **Steve** **:** probably me

 **T'Challa:** steve because he understands that james should be protected 

 **Steve** **:** he isn't wrong

 **M'Baku** :james buchanan barnes AKA the winter soldier AKA my boyfriend AKA bucky AKA the white wolf AKA robobitch can choke

 **Sam:** robobitch

 **M'Baku** **:** what you gon doashd\gauilusodaksjieygdsbc

 **Sam:** what

 **Bucky:** OH MY GOD

 **Okoye:** am pissing this is the stupidest shit i have ever witnessed with my own two eyes

 **Sam:** America explain

 **Shuri** **:** I'm America so i'll explain

 **Shuri:** T'Challa went OFF

 **Shuri** :i knew this bitch was the black panther and shit but HOLY FUCK is he fast

 **Shuri** **:** bitch is like that blue hedgehog mf

 **Spidey:** his name is sonic be respectful 

 **Shuri** **:** he like sonic be respectful 

 **Spidey:** okay

 **M'Baku** **:** @bucky BITCH WHAT THE FUCK YOU TURNED ONE OF MY WHOLE BOYFRIENDS AGAINST ME WHAT I THIS FDSIODOFHUI0SAO

 **Sam:** literally what is happening

 **Bucky:** i love wakanda

 **Bucky:** i really fucking love wakanda holy shIT

 **M'Baku** **:** ksjdfus ffuck ofsf @T'Chajshfiruoaep

 **Bucky:** who that bitch

 **Sam:** i have no idea what is going off but judging from your reactions,,,, how are you texting @m'baku

  **Shuri** **:** i already told you that T'Challa is the one going off

 **M'Baku** **:** I'm textingggggggggggg by nearlyf dyign

 **Bucky:** challa is trying to throw baku at baku

  **Shuri** **:** he is throwing himself

 **Sam:** @Bucky @Okoye @Shuri stop him?

 **Bucky:** nah fam

 **Sam:** never speak to me again what

 **M'Baku:** okoye caught him mid jump so it is done now

 **T'Challa:** just you wait

 **M'Baku** **:**?????????????????

 **T'Challa:** sleep with one eye open :)

 **Sam:** that isn't fucking ominous or anything

 

1PM

 **Thot:** @val @bruce I'm with the gaurdians right now

 **Val:** hope you're having fun <3

 **Bruce:** don't bring back deadly, humanity hating aliens please babe <3

 **Thot:** okay :)

 

2PM

 **Val:** @thot are you having a fun time with the guardians? 

 **Bruce:** yeah is everything good?

 **Quill:** nebula please dont

 **Nebula:** there's a dart in thor's face

 **Steve:** DKO;SJFIEWO

 **Shuri:** lol you're dead @quill

 **Quill:** IT WAS ROCKET THAT THREW IT WHY IS THIS MY DEATH SENTENCE

 **Shuri:** your pet, your responsibility 

 **Groot:** yeah bitch 

 **Val:** What the fuck do you mean there's a dart in their face, Peter Quill?

 **Thot:** we were playing darts and rocket threw it and i was holding my hand up over the board so he had a smaller target and he threw it at my face

 **Mantis:** To be honest, it is only in their forehead.

 **Steve:** AM SHITTING MYSELF "ONLY IN THEIR FOREHEAD" DCDHSKJLA;KJF

 **Quill:** @Thot TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR FOREHEAD 

 **Bruce:** ITS STILL THERE

 **Val:** QUILL I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU AND SLICE YOU AND FEED YOU TO THE FUCKING RATS YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SAVE MY FUCKING THOR ALREADY YOU DICKBRAIN YOU FUCKING BITCH WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TAKE IT OUT OF THEIR HEAD YOU FUCKING FUCKHEAD FUCKER

 **Shuri:** IM HOWLING

 **Quill:** literally what the fuck

 **Nebula:** thor didn't even react at first and that's the funniest thing

 **Rocket:** I'mcyrijgn

 **Mantis:** Gamora- "it's in their head" quill- "yo, they aren't even shocked about it" Gamora- "they aren't doing anything" Quill- "THOR THERES A DART" Thor- "Where did it go?" Nebula-"it's in your forehead *wheeze*" Quill- "oh my god are they braindead?" Thor- "what do you mean it's in my forehead?" Drax-" TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD THOR"

 **Groot:** i love this

 **Gamora:** this is so funny skjdhifu thor has no idea what's happening how pure

 **Nebula:** rocket took it out for them

 **Val:** i swear

 **Bruce:** pull this shit next time they go to hang out with you losers and i'm pulling that green fucker out the bag to fuck you all up

 **Quill:** bitch where last time i checked he left your rusty, dusty, musty ass

 **Thot:** BACK OFF BITCH

 **Val:** QUILL I SWEAR

 **Steve:** THIS IS K I L L I N G ME 

 **Stephen:** Christ.

 **Spidey:** mksjd it's times like these that i really wish thor and i were best friends

 **Thot:** i'm best friends with everyone except for stark

 **Loki:** even me?

 **Thot:** i'm related to you.

 **Loki:** point?

 **Thot:** i don't include you. in anything.

 **Steve:** DIUFHGYDU GET FUCKED YOU FROG BASTARD

 **Val:** breaking news- best individual to exist roasts second worst person to exist: log keys

 **Bruce:** breaking news- beauty of the stars murders sibling: lonely kite

 **Steve:** i love loki's new names :')

 **Spidey:** breaking news- thunder parent chargrills irrelevant bully: lactation kale

 

**Steve set Loki's name as lactation kale**

**Val set Thot's name as thunder parent**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only confusing nicknames are:  
> thunder parent: thor  
> lactation kale: loki
> 
> hi, my name is Jes and i love peter parker

3AM

 **Spidey:** shot me

 **lactation kale:** wdym

 **Shuri:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Shuri:** PROTECTION SQUAD ASSEMBLE

 **Bucky:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Mantis:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Wanda:** you have your own protection squad

 **Mantis:** So does Thor?

 **Wanda:** fair

 **lactation kale:** tbh thor needs one bc they would die if they didn't

 **Wanda:** @shuri how many protection squads are you in???

 **Shuri:** all of them.

 **lactation kale:**??? how many people have protection squads???

 **Shuri:** thor, parker, t'challa, m'baku, steve, james, sam, rhodey, bruce, nebula, mantis, wanda, gamora, quill, okoye, my own, valkyrie, loki, groot, clint and drax

 **Shuri:** so... 21

 **lactation kale:** DMFJFHDIJEKFDN THERES SO MANY

 **lactation kale:** why do i have one when i'm litter 

 **lactation kale:** LITTERally  the worst

 **Shuri:** 20 

 **lactation kale:** :(

 **thunder parent:** it's what you get loki

 **thunder parent:** don't be ungrateful 

 **Wanda:** damn thor tell 'em

 **Mantis:** @Spidey WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

 **Wanda:** yo........mantis....you good?

 **Mantis:** not until i find out peter's state

 **Quill:** mine? you worry about little, old me?

 **Mantis:** fuck off

 **Drax:** you are quite little and old

 **Quill:** :0

 **Bucky:** @Spidey pls answer you lil punk

 **Spidey:** :( i got shot 

 **Bucky:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 **Steve:** i will kill someone for you @Spidey now tell me what happened

 **Bucky:** TELL YOU???????? FUCK OFF 

 **Shuri:** steve join the peter parker protection agency now

 **Steve:** done

 **Wanda:** that's the initiation?

 **Shuri:** NOW PETER TELL US WHAT HAPPENED FDK

 **Spidey:** yo....wanda shot me

 **Wanda:** lmao stop lying then

 **Spidey:** i'm dying, wnada

 **Bucky:** omg he's going into shock look he is spelling wrong

 **Spidey:** i'm already shocked thanks wasn't expecting friendly fire

 **Shuri:** Wanda, you have yet to see my final form. Now, tell me what happened and why you shot my boy?

 **Wanda:** we're playing left 4 dead but whatever

 **Shuri:** oh.... lemme join?

 **Wanda:** sure bitch but be ready i ain't gonna save you

 **Shuri:** you won't be saving shit at all when i kill you

 **Mantis:** I have no idea what this is but i'm going to guess i don't need to worry?

 **Bucky:** no, it's just two useless lesbians and a dumbass gay being useless dumbasses

 **Steve:** don't swear

 **Bucky:** you literally just threatened to kill someone for peter

 **Bucky:** how is that any better

 **Steve:** shut up honestly

 **Bucky:** i'm god and i regret making you

 **Steve:** then end me, pussy

 **Rhodey:** STEVE I CANR SK'FDIHGSDGSAJK

 **Sam:** cdksjhuh ye s tell god to end you that totally isn't a stupid idea

**Rhodey:** _you think he doesn't know that, Samuel?_

**Bucky:** look at james part 2 digging out the full names

 **Bucky:** you wanna fucking go, steven?

 **Steve:** dont disrespect my husband, barnes

 **Sam:** sdkjfhdhsj

 **Shuri:** "husband"

 **Rhodey:** 1- am not married to you yet

 **Shuri:** "yet"

**Rhodey:** _don't fucking call me that, james buchanan barnes_

**Bucky:** _I'm the original, James, what will you do about it?_

**Rhodey:** _I'll fucking kill you_

**Bucky:** _I'm an assassin, you ass, i'm literally trained to kill_

**Rhodey:** _good, you're a criminal- therefore i will get praised for fucking you up_

**Spidey:** you two are fucking weebs 

**Bucky:** _i have a bigger pokemon collection, try and beat that_

**Steve:** oh shit

 **Spidey:** o fuk bucky lemme see

 **Shuri:** damn.....he really is an assassin

**Rhodey:** _ha, fool, you seem to not know the sheer greatness of my yu-gi-oh collection!_

**Spidey:** omg

**Rhodey:** _I even have all the special edition ones! i have the third largest card collection in the world! i have won 21 tournaments! legendary edition! i met yugi muto himself!_

**Steve:** I'm so proud

 **Spidey:** is this really happening

 **Shuri:** rhodey is a god

 **Shuri:** sorry loki your time is up you're getting replaced

 **lactation kale:** bullshit you met yugi muto

 **Gamora:** he's a fucking cartoon character of course he never met him

 **Quill:** GAMORA

 **Shuri:** GASP

 **Spidey:** where is bucky

**Bucky:** _you wound me, james part two electric boogaloo, but you are idiotic to think i was not prepared for this! your words are merely a bullet, but i wear seven bullet proof vests! you cannot beat me!_

**Steve:** RHODEY YOU'RE DOING SO GOOD SWEETIE NOW KILL HIM

**Rhodey:** _ha fool these bullets are laced with blended collector's edition figurines of yugi muto and ash ketchum!_

**Bucky: __**_IMPOSSIBLE!_

**Steve:** it's true, he hides them in a special suitcase underneath the bed.

 **Sam:** am fucking pissing myself this is so funny

 **Gamora:** what the fuck is even happening

 **Spidey:** a legendary battle which will decide who i respect most

 **Shuri:** who is the best james?

 **T'Challa:** white wolf has requested that we empty a whole room to put his pokemon shit inside so i mean

 **M'Baku:** he wins instantly

**Steve:** _YOU SEEM TO UNDERESTIMATE RHODE_

**Sam:** fucking well done you set him off too

**M'Baku:** _HA YOU MERE MORTAL YOU REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GETTING YOURSELF INTO_

**Spidey:** ~~I'm fucking dead~~

**Sam:** _T'CHALLA TELL YOUR BOYFRIENDS TO M'BACK OFF BEFORE I M'BREAK THEIR M'BACKS_

**Shuri:** this is a literal war

 **Steve:** fuck not again

 **Steve:** i take it all back

 **Sam:** same I'm not a weeb  ~~but steve is~~

 **M'Baku:** k guess i'll back off

**Rhodey:** _we are both powerful, let's face the facts, let us join together and take over the whole world_

**Bucky:** _yes_

**Spidey:** and suddenly the most powerful people in the multiverse are best buds

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know there isn't really anything here but i feel bad for not uploading
> 
> i just finished two weeks of exams :') i have a week off before another two weeks of them and then i'm done with school until September- when i go to college!
> 
> anyway, i'll upload a big one tomorrow


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi lmao sorry am shit at uploading

6AM

**thunder parent sent 67 photos!**

**lactation kale:** thor

 **Bruce:** what is you doing, honey???

 **thunder parent:** literally,,,,you are ignoring what i just sent

 **lactation kale:** stfu bitch idrc

 **thunder parent:** you're listening to blackbear aren't you

 **lactation kale:** how did u know

 **thunder parent:** i know everything

 **lactation kale:** damn....

 **thunder parent:** are you gonna look at what i sent yet

 **Bruce:** loki, don't do it.

 **lactation kale:** THIS IS A DILEMMA

 **Bruce:** how?

 **lactation kale:** it's in my nature to do the opposite of what people want me to do, so when two people are telling me to do two different things

 **lactation kale:** am not happy w/ it

 **Clint:** Can you all shut the fuck up yet?

 **Bruce:** @Clint we are best friends now :)

 **Clint:** No :)

 **lactation kale:** damn you're shady asf

 **Clint:** 1- How the fuck is a Norse God a worse fucking typer than me?

 **Bruce:** don't question shit here, Val taught me how to type

 **Clint:** 2- Don't fucking talk to me. 

 **Bruce:** me?

 **Clint:** any of you, apart from Nat

 **Nat:** wow...best avenger 

 **Clint:** Yeah, well, I know. 

 

7AM

 **lactation kale:** thor ur a fuccin child

 **Steve:** They're 1500 years old

 **lactation kale:** correlates to 23

 **Bruce:** oh shit?

 **Steve:** oh worm?

 **Bruce:** they're younger than me fuk 

 **lactation kale:** not really but all i'm saying is that they are a child 

 **Steve:** why

 **lactation kale:** i looked @ the pictures and it's literally just me in the worst positions or just looking like an absolute wanker 

 **Steve:** wanker...

 **Steve:** you always look like a wanker...

 **Steve:** because you are?

 **lactation kale:** yeah well ur old? but u don't look like it? so? flawed logic.

 **Steve:** not everyone looks like what they are, loaf

 **Bruce:** LOAF

 **Sam:** LOAF

 **Shuri:** LOAF

 **Spidey:** LOAF

 **lactation kale:** ok we get it autocorrect just ruined my life

 **Steve:** sorry, that wasn't autocorrect ;)

 **lactation kale:** ok we get it steve just ruined my life

 **Steve:** good, you're learning :)

 **Spidey:** STEVE FUCKING SERVED US EAT UP GAYS

 **Shuri:** NOM FUCKING NOM THIS SHIT DELICIOUS

 **Sam:** ANY OF Y'ALL ORDER A FUCKING TAKEAWAY 

 **Bruce:** MEEEE

 **Sam:** STEVE IS YOUR FUCKING HOT ASS DELIVERER THAT LEAVES YOU WANTING TO EAT THEIR ASS INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU ORDERED

 **Bruce:** YOU'RE SO RIGHT

 **Sam:** he didn't even say anything that wholesome and crazy but i still love it

 

****

****

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik this is short as but i'm uploading another one tonight bc i prefer writing shorter ones? and i been sleeping on uploading so...


	6. Chapter 6

1AM

 **Mantis:** SPONGEBOB CAN KISS MY FUCKING ASS

 **Wanda:** mantis....................................................................................are u ok

 **Mantis:** NO AM NOT THIS YELLOW SQUARE BITCH CAN FUCKING CATCH THESE HANDS

 **Wanda:** yo @nebula what is happening to your girl

 **Mantis:** YOU CANT FUCKING STOP ME NEBULA

 **Nebula:** sorry can't stop her

 **Okoye:** you're fucking whipped 

 **Wanda:** so are you

 **Okoye:** not really

 **Wanda:** no?

 **Okoye:** only when you're cute, which is rare

 **Wanda:** :0

 **Gamora:** yo mantis is fucking going off on one over here

 **Mantis:** I'M GONNA FUCKING DECK THAT LITTLE BIIIIIITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIDJSKLFNHG

 **Shuri:** what the singular fuck is happening

 **Okoye:** nobody really knows? we've just accepted it

 **Mantis:** nebula here, yeah, i had to get quill to fucking tranquilise her? is that weird? drax even had to restrain her?

 **Wanda:** right

 **Shuri:** that's? 

 **Mantis:** intense? confusing? weird?

 **Shuri:** what even happened why did she start talking about spongebob

 **Mantis:** i don't really know

 **Gamora:** yeah no she and groot were watching it together and she just got angry

 **Mantis:** she does get really into shows especially cartoons

 **Wanda:** that's adorable

 **Okoye:** you're exactly the same

 **Wanda:** so is thor but you're not attacking them?

 **Okoye:** 1- not here 2- thor is too beautiful to bully

 **Wanda:** loki disagrees

 **Shuri:** loaf*

 **Gamora:** yh never let that die

 **Nat:** it's 1am can y'all be quiet

 **Nat:** wait why is mantis forcefully restrained and knocked out 

 **Nat:** oh nvm i get it

 **Nat:** had to do that to Bucky over powerpuff girls and Thor over power rangers and Clint over Bob the Builder and Steve over boku no hero academia

 **Wanda:** steve is such a fucking weeb 

 **Gamora:** unsurprising?

 **Okoye:** yh we know bc of the whole rhodey vs bucky thing djhcgdj

 **Nebula:** oh fuk that was intense

 **Shuri:** i died at that hgdjkf it was so funny

 **Gamora:** yeah anD HOLY SHITRF

 **Nebula:** OH MY FUICING GOKDMD

 **Nebula:** my girlfriend is fucking crazy  OJFHN FKDHUJIGBOIJDLSVFJDKVGDSHJKDJHVHHJDSHGFKJVBVKJCHVKJLDDSJKHCN JCNJHMKJJKHDKVDHJVCBVHKCJKBVHJCCHJCDFUDJJCHFJIVNHFJCDKNJHFDJI

SKNJVHBJDIKCNBHFVDJKMNVHBDJKNCVHDJKCDNVFHJDKCDNVHFDJKCNVHDJIKNCJDSKMNCJDK

JVHJDIKMCVJDKLCMNHJDKMNJDKCMNVJKDLMDCNJKDM,CNVJKDL,MCNVJDKMCNJDKM,NJFDK

 **Shuri:** question- is she malfunctioning or getting murdered

 **Okoye:** second one i think

 **Mantis:** ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING SPONGEBOB STRANGLEWANK CAN FUCKING CHOKE 

 **Wanda:** what is your fucking problem with spongebob

 **Nat:** did he do anything wrong to you ever 

 **Mantis:** just rewatch every episode and pay attention to how he treats people

 **Wanda:** theres like 9487938475438 seasons and i will not rewatch every episode bc i will die

 **Mantis:** yeah well he's a bullyy

 **Okoye:** no he is literally not

 **Mantis:** ding dong your opinion is wrong 

 **Nebula:** ok mantis ily but calm thanks

 **Mantis:** ok good night

 **Nat:** you can't just wake us up and go back to sleep and leave us with questions that are vital for our lives 

 **Nebula:** she's asleep shhhhhhhhh

 **Wanda:** oh so she can wake us up but we can't wake her up

 **Shuri:** wrow...that's rude

 **Nebula:** damn u is right on point ding ding bullseye now fuck off

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Spidey:** aye dickheads

 **Shuri:** i'm anger

 **Spidey:** yes 

 **Shuri:** they pushed lance, allura and hunk to the side again in the new voltron season 

 **Shuri:** they don't deserve it

 **Shuri:** this is voltron not the keith show

 **Spidey:** DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT SHIT

 **Steve:** you're all nerds

 **Spidey:** and you're a furry

 **lactation kale:** HMMMM FURRIES? WHERE ART THOU FURRIES?

 **Shuri:** literally shut up lowkey

 **Spidey:** omg that's their name

 **Steve:** peter...did you know.....your fursona is....a spider

 **Shuri:** o fuk he got you dude

 **Spidey:** shit

 **Spidey:** oh shit you just opened my third eye

 **Spidey:** i guess this is my life now guys

 **Shuri:** @bucky

 **Bucky:** yes

 **Shuri:** T'Challa and M'Baku 

 **Bucky:** o ya

 **Bucky:** it is pretty obvious

 **Steve:** yeah we been knew shuri

 **Shuri:** no one asked you white boy

 **Steve:** bucky is a white boy also

 **Shuri:** yh but like that's irrelevant 

 **Steve:** right ok

 **T'Challa:** yeah I'm a furry what's your point

 **Shuri:** i'm?

 **Bucky:** i told y'all and you ain't been listening 

 **Bucky:** check and mate :/ turns out i'm the smartest here sorry shuri you're late get in line punk

 **Shuri:** i'm pissing what the fuck is happening 

 **lactation kale:** are you like? actually a furry?

 **T'Challa:** maybe so

 **lactation kale:** ok

**thunder parent:** ~~loki is a scalie~~

**lactation kale:** it's true and you should say it

 **thunder parent:** yeah 

 **thunder parent:** almost everyone we know is a furry i mean look at rocket he's a literal rat :/

 **Spidey:** why would you say something so controversial yet brave?

 **thunder parent:** because i am physically incapable of lying well

 **Shuri:** i'm not a furry

 **thunder parent:** ok

 **Shuri:** i'm not

 **thunder parent:** ok

 **Shuri:** thor i'm gonna kill you i'm not a furry

 **thunder parent:** ok??? i get it

 **Rocket:** not a rat

 **thunder parent:** and why don't i believe you? 

 **Rocket:** my name literally has the word racoon in it who are you

 **thunder parent:** (　´∀｀)

 **Bucky:** wow....

 **Shuri:** stunning!!!!!!!1

 **Spidey:** why the fuck is thor such a bad bitch i love them

 **thunder parent:** ☆(◒‿◒)☆

 **Val:** ur a star

 **thunder parent:** (✿◕ ‿◕ฺ)ノ))。₀: *゜

 **Spidey:** the assguardians are all together

 **thunder parent:** asguardian*

 **Val:** no he's right

 **lactation kale:** i agree with brunnhilde 

 **Val:** call me val bitch

**lactation kale:** _ok val bitch_

**Bruce:** talk shit get hit loki

 **thunder parent:** pls don't kill the only sibling i love

 **lactation kale:** hrmmmmmmmmmmmmm am i your favourite

 **thunder parent:** it's you, hela or someone i don't know

 **Val:** why are all your siblings evil and have a black/green colour scheme?

 **thunder parent:** honestly? i don't know 

****

7AM

 **Wanda:** hi

 **Steve:** heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **Wanda:** mhmmmmm that me sweetie 

 **Shuri:** UGH

 **Wanda:** what now

 **Wanda:** wait no lemme guess

 **Shuri:** what

 **Wanda:** you're anger?

 **Shuri:** yo....someone call buzzfeed unsolved this bitch knowing the future and what i'm gonna say an shit she a cryptid 

 **Wanda:** you're the angriest here

 **Bruce:** oh? you haven't heard?

 **Wanda:** shh lemme make a point

 **Shuri:** you act as if i invented anger 

 **Wanda:** you did

 **Shuri:** oh? why didn't i know about this? why didn't somebody tell me that i stole bruce's job? 

 **Wanda:** stop with your tomfoolery kiddo

 **Okoye:** @wanda ur never getting laid again

 **Wanda:** i'm sorry

 **Okoye:** okoye is not here rn leave a message after the beep

 **Shuri:** @wanda you invented being a whipped lesbian

 **Wanda:** ah shit you got me

 **Wanda:** what can i say officer

 **Shuri:** the truth

 **Wanda:** i'm guilty of being a whipped lesbian

 ****

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw suicide joke  
> tw nb/trans phobia mention  
> tw biphobia/panphobia mention
> 
> they roast a bitch who talked shit

4AM

 **thunder parent:** SOUND THE MOTHERFUCKING ALARMS

 **T'Challa:** shut up

 **lactation kale:** it's 4 am

 **Bucky:** suddenly i'm debating whether or not i'm gonna leave the thor protection squad

 **Shuri:** thor i went to sleep an hour ago this better be good

 **T'Challa:** why the fuck are you going to sleep so fucking late 

 **Shuri:** when has that ever been your business

 **T'Challa:** i'm going to ignore you now

 **thunder parent:** SO...THERES THIS BITCH....

 **Bucky:** SPILL THE TEA

 **Shuri:** POUR IT ALL OVER ME

 **lactation kale:** is...is the tea hot?

 **Val:** BITCH IT IS S T E A M I N G

 **lactation kale:** triple mega oof?

 **Bruce:** x9000

 **Bucky:** damn.... spill it already

 **thunder parent:** HE A B I T C H OKAY? AND HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO

 **thunder parent:** Y'ALL IM HEATED

 **thunder parent:** HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO FUCKING TELL MY G I R L F R I E N D

 **Bruce:** OUR G I R L F R I E N D

 **thunder parent:** THAT THE ONLY REASON THAT SHE WITH US IS

 **Bruce:** BECAUSE

 **thunder parent:** WE'RE FORCING HER TO BE WITH US

 **Bucky:** YO WHAT THE FUCK

 **Shuri:** I'M GONNA HIT A BITCH

 **lactation kale:** i have his location and i am getting an uber

 **Shuri:** no u aren't

 **lactation kale:** lemme dream 

 **Val:** I WAS FUMINGGGGGGG 

 **Val:** FUMING

 **Val:** WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT SHIT TO AN ACTUAL W A R R I O R OF S P A C E OR SOME SHIT

 **Val:** WHOS PARTNERS ARE LITERALLY THE FUCKING HULK, CONFIRMED MOST POWERFUL BEING, AND THOR, THE FUCKING RULER OF ASGUARD AND THE LITERAL GOD(ESS) OF THUNDER! WHY? WHY BITCH? YOU ONLY DIGGING YOU OWN GRAVE SWEETIE

 **Shuri:** OMG BITCH FUCKING KILL HIM

 **Val:** THEY ARE LEGITIMATE U N I T S COMPARED TO YOU HONEY

 **Val:** FULL OFFENSE BUT THEY'RE BOTH FUCKING STRONGER THAN YOUR WHOLE MILITARY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

 **thunder parent:** ALSO

 **Bruce:** HE ALSO HAD THE GUTS TO TURN AROUND AND 

 **thunder parent:** SAY THAT SHE'S JUST "STRAIGHT" BECAUSE SHE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP

 **Bruce:** WITH TWO "MEN"

 **Val:** FIRSTLY I'M NOT STRAIGHT JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT ACTIVELY DATING SOMEONE WHO IDENTIFIES AS FEMALE

 **Shuri:** he sounds like the type of person who would turn around and say that you're just a closeted lesbian if you were dating a female identifying person

 **Val:** FUCKING LEGIT

 **Val:** SECONDLY THOR ISN'T A MAN

 **Val:** THOR IS A FUCKING BIGENDER FUCKING I C O N 

 **Val:** DO NOT APPROACH ME WITH THAT FUCKING TRANS/NB PHOBIC BULL SHIT SWEETIE UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE CHARGRILLED 

 **lactation kale:** i would have killed him by now already

 **Bucky:** we know loki

 **Bucky:** but srsly is he dead

 **Bruce:** val punched him in the face and said "i would kick you in the balls but..." and then thor fucking kick him in the balls so bad i just laughed and flipped him off

 **Bucky:** FUCKING CRIMINAL I LOVE IT

 **Shuri:** wait....this happened in person? whilst thor and bruce were there?

 **thunder parent:** he was a desperate man trying to get with someone way out of his league. i don't think he had enough brain cells to realise the mistakes he made.

 **Bruce:** did you see his teeth?

 **Val:** 9/10 dentists would recommend suicide

 **Bruce:** and the whole $6 cab ride from his eyebrows to his hairline? tragic.

 **lactation kale:** OH

 **Shuri:** yo....

 **Bucky:** holy fuck

 **Steve:** fucking sniped

 **Sam:** didn't even see it coming

 **Bruce:** the bullet or the clear meth addiction? 

 **Rhodey:** :0 

 **thunder parent:** he didn't need a fucking nose job, he needed a nose career

 **Wanda:** kinda get the vibe that he's like a young Bill Gates? but he invented AIDS instead of Microsoft?

 **Rhodey:** :O

 

 

 

 

 


	9. im back hunty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw yall im sorry I was gone for like a whole month but I was like busy n shit

**Clint:** FUCK

 **Nat** : what

 **Clint** : guess what bruce changed his nickname to on mine and his' pms

 **Bruce** : lol what

 **Bruce** : oh ik what ur on about

 **Bruce** : fuck you

 **Clint** : I dont know how to feel emotions anymore

 **Val:** lemme guess

 **Val:** its either about me or thor

 **Bruce** : am I really that predictable?

 **Val:** yes

 **Nat:** what is it then

 **Bruce** : thorgasm

 **Nat** : _oh?_

 **Val** : oh big kin

 **Quill** : fucking K I N

 **Gamora** : stop being gay for thor when im right here

 **Bruce** : everyone is attracted to thor what u mean

 **Gamora:** I mean...…………………………………………………….

 **Quill:** rude I am right here

 **Gamora:** lol stfu u would fuck them

 **Quill:** oh ya deffo

 **Val:** back off hunty

 **Bruce:** we can fit them in our bed :)

 **Val:** but???? we barely???? fit??????????

 **Bruce:** that's why bitch we lay on top of thorrr

 **Bruce** : push comes to shove quill can sleep on the floor

 **Quill:** if I was there then there wouldn't be any sleeping at all

 **Nat:** :////

 **Gamora:** wow

 **thunder parent:** thnx straight boy

 **Quill:** told you im not straight

 **thunder parent:** ok

 **lactation kale:** right

 **Quill:** the disrespect in this fucking house

 **lactation kale:** are yall acc gonna expand into a massive fivesome bc that would be so fucking iconic I would cry

 **Bruce:** mmmmmmmmmm

 **Gamora:** I meannnnnnn we can tryyyyyyyyyyyy

 **Quill:** seriously???

 **Gamora:** yall r hot

 **Bruce:** all in favour say aye aye captain

 **Gamora:** aye aye captain

 **Quill:** aye aye cap

 **thunder parent:** aye ate captain

 **thunder parent** : :( turns out I ate the captain

 **Val:** aye aye caps lock

 **lactation kale:** yo is this actually happening or are my eyes playing tricks on me

 **Val:** yea

 **Gamora:** mhm

 **lactation kale:** wow fucking pure bliss rn 

 **Steve:** love that for you all

 **Shuri:** GOD HAS BLESSED US ALL GOD IS A WOMAN THANK YOU ARIANA GRANDE I LOVE YOU FOR CAUSING THIS 

 **Bucky:** :') beautiful whens the wedding I wanna be all of yalls best man and chief bridesmaid 

 

11AM

 **lactation kale:** just walked in on thor and bruce napping

 **Shuri:** why are they napping at 11 am?

 **Bruce:** tiresome night :/

 **Shuri** : I thought you were napping?

 **thunder parent:** tell the story location 

 **lactation kale:** back with the name mocking?

 **thunder parent:** _tell the fucking story_

 **lactation kale:** I walked in on them napping and I woke them up that's it

 **Bruce:** you threw water on me

 **thunder parent:** youre useless leg cam

 **lactation kale:** thanks

 **lactation kale:** I threw water on bruce and he woke up like "loki stop" but thor didn't react so I compromised :)

 **thunder parent** : you threw a metal fucking bucket at my head I fucking hate you

 **Bucky:** omg the name on my birth certificate said "metal fucking bucket" im sure of it

 **lactation kale:** and bruce was laughing and you woke up, sat up and said "Obama?"

 **Bruce:** I was trying not to piss myself honestly it was so dumb 

 **Val:** I took a video

 **thunder parent:** this isn't funny

 **thunder parent:** you d id whA T

 

**Val sent a video:** _owo, mr Obama are you there?_

 

 **Shuri:** slkdifuygheiowps;ldmkjhfueilmkfhidolekrjnhfjdkl

 **Bruce** : where the fuck were you

 **T'Challa:** shuri is screaming 

 **Bucky:** tell her to stop

 **T'Challa:** ? what th e fuck is your problem 

 **Nat** : holy shit

 **Gamora:** bless the way the camera just zooms in on thors face as they say It im cry in g

 **Quill:** and then it zooms in on bruce just pissing himself laughing and loki running around the corner

 

4PM

 **Sam** : why is the chat dead

 **T'Challa:** change that if youre so bothered 

 **Sam:** I am a party animal now @everyone talk or

 

**Sam sent a photo:** _perish_

 

**Bruce set thunder parent's name as thorgasm**

**Bruce set their name as bust**

**Bruce set Val's name as voyeurism**

 

 **lactation kale** : JDHJDKFHJKL STOP IT

 

**Bruce set Gamora's name as G-Spot**

**Bruce set Quill's name as straight boy**

 

 **thorgasm:** DJUIDWOLKFJ STRAIGHT BOY

 **G-Spot:** omg 

 **voyeurism:** oh 

 **thorgasm:** bust I love u

 **bust** : ily2 

**straight boy: ur wrong busty boy**

**bust:** am I?

 

**bust set straight boy's name as quickie behind taco bell**

 

 **quickie behind taco bell:** change it you fien d

 **thorgasm:** h

 

**bust set quickie behind taco bell's name as space prince**

 

 **space prince:** :/ this is the best im gonna get isn't it

 **voyeurism:** yeah

 **thorgasm:** hot

 **Nat** : get a room

 **Nat:** a very big room

 **Nat** : away from everyone else

 **Nat** : isolated

 **space prince:** owo thas kinky

 **Nat:** no.

 

6PM

 **Sam:** I said talk or perish

 **Steve:** owo

 **Rhodey:** :3

 **Sam:** wait no stop it

 **Steve:** why? owo ur so mwean

 **Rhodey:** stop buwwying us :(

 **Sam:** I hate you both.

 **T'Challa:** oh sam I feel your pain im so sorry

 **Bucky:** uwu why do you apowogise

 **M'Baku:** fucking OWO

 **Sam:** stop

 **T'Challa:** fuck ing sto p I t

 **Steve:** OwO BUCKY IS THAT U

 **Bucky:** it is stevie :3

 **Clint** : Christ.

 

9PM

 **Bucky:** @steve suck my toes

 **Steve:** no y

 **Bucky:** bc u suck

 **Bucky:** now suck fool

 **Rhodey:** what is happening rn

 **T'Challa:** just let it pass you can't do anything to stop them it happened @ Wakanda but in person so feel blessed that you can't physically hear them

 **Steve:** im not sucking ur toes

 **Bucky:** pls its for greater good

 **Steve:** do not

 **Nat:** the only way to defeat thanos

 **Bucky:** pls its justice

 **Steve:** do not pull that card on me u know I have a hero complex

 **Bucky** : steben plsa

 **Steve:** no bucly

 **Steve:** ur gross and dumb little boy

 **Bucky:** am old than u stinky

 **Steve** : no u

 **Nat:** :/

 **Bucky:** stenie pls ily

 **Steve:** ily2bnslb

 **Nat:** what the flip

 **Bucky:** sorry I don not speak dumbass

 **Steve:** I love you 2 but no shake lil bitch

 **Bucky:** oh :( owie

 **M'Baku:** owie

 **Sam:** please stop it im scared

 **Steve:** James Buchanan Barnes.

 **Bucky:** no u

 

**Sam kicked Bucky from the group!**

 

 **Steve:** the evil has been defeated 

 

**Sam kicked Steve from the group!**

 

 **M'Baku** : owie

 **Rhodey** : h

 **Nat:** dont fucking start

 **T'Challa:** gimme my white bread back bitch

 **Sam** : damn okAY

 

**Sam added Bucky to the group!**

**Sam set Bucky's name as White Bread**

 

 **White Bread** : mmmmmmmmm

 **T'Challa** : come upstairs

 **White Bread:** eyes emoji

 **Sam:** frowning emoji

 **M'Baku:** guess ill die emoji

 **T'Challa:** rolls eyes emoji

 **T'Challa:** get your ass up here then

 **M'Baku:** sonic zoom

 **White Bread:** hulk smash

 **bust:** dont bring me into this

 **White Bread:** HULK smash

 **thorgasm:** ive done enough of that

 **thorgasm:** fisting emoji

 **Nat** : oh my fucking god shut up

 **voyeurism:** KDJHGHUHIS;LDKFJH ITS TRUE

 **White Bread:** what lol you fucked hulk

 **thorgasm** : ofc who wouldnt

 **White Bread:** anyone that literaly doesn't want their ass to be actually legitimately ripped apart which would lead to their inevitable death

 **thorgasm:** weak.

 **White Bread:** no?

 **White Bread:** me and steve would be lucky to survive

 **bust:** hes right thor

 **thorgasm:** W E A K.

 **thorgasm:** dont talk to me until you have a godly ass

 **voyeurism:** then lets talk thor

 **lactation kale:** guess im good and Gucci for a whole conversation 

 


	10. Chapter 10

1AM

 **Shuri:** HENLO?

 

 **Spidey:** h-hewwo?

 

 **Shuri:** HEWWO

 

 **Spidey:** why r u awake fool

 

 **Shuri:** SLEEP IS FOR THE STRAIGHT

 

 **Spidey:** oh ew anyone sleeping rn is straight

 

 **Shuri:** RIP

 

 **Spidey:** why r u only typing in caps stinky

 

 **Shuri:** CAPS IS MY FAVOURITE AVENGER 

 

 **Spidey:** oh?

 

 **Shuri:** OKOYE PUSHED T'CHALLA OVER AND HE FELL INTO THE COMPUTER THAT IM TYPING FROM NOW

 

 **Spidey:** right

 

 **Shuri:** HE BROKE MY FUCKING COMPUTER HAVE SOME SYMPATHY

 

 **T'Challa:** fix it then

 

 **Shuri:** I WOULD BUT I HAVE A FEELING 

 

 **Spidey:** explain what kind of feeling

 

5AM

 **Okoye:** you still haven't explained the feeling

 

 **Shuri:** just a feeling okay????????? damn get off my back yall ive fixed it now anyway

 

 **T'Challa:** I hate my fucking family.

 

 **Shuri:** oh u wanna say that again bitch?

 

 **thorgasm:** learn to love t'challa

 

 **M'Baku:** he doesn't know the definition of love

 

 **T'Challa:** oh wow fuck you

 

 **M'Baku:** SCOTT LANG HOWEVER

 

 **Shuri:** OH BITCH I REMEMBER WHEN I MET HIM I LOVE HIM AND EVERYTHING HE STANDS FOR WOW WHAT AN ICON GOD I WISH I WAS ON HIS LEVEL

 **Shuri:** AND HOPE??????? DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED BITCH GOD I AM SO GAY FOR THAT WOMAN

 

 **Okoye:** im the ghostwriter of those messages

 **Okoye:** @everyone add them or die

 

**M'Baku:** ~~do it yourself~~

 

 **Okoye:** I dont have their fucking numbers now someone add them

 

**Steve added Scott to the group chat!**

 

 **Scott:** hi

 

 **Okoye:** HI 

 

 **Shuri:** HELLO I LOVE YOU IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN

 

 **Scott:** everyone loves me

 

 **thorgasm:** its so true

 

 **Steve:** h

 **Steve:** hi scott

 

 **Scott:** hello steven grant rogers

 

 **Steve:** oh fuck full names

 

 **Sam:** pls scare the fuck out this bitch

 

**Shuri:** _scott add hope or die_

 

 **Scott:** actually theres more chance of me dying if I add her so I think i'll skip

 

**Shuri:** _add her._

 

**Scott added Hope to the group chat!**

 

 **Sam:** oh what a sentence

 

 **Okoye:** even technology knows he is a blessing <3

 

 **Hope:** scott do you have friends

 

 **Scott:** yes

 

 **Hope:** sounds like a lie

 

 **Scott:** you cant hear me

 

 **Hope:** sounds like something a liar would say

 

 **Scott:** you cant hear me

 

 **Hope:** we'll see 

 

 **Scott:** what the fuck are you in my house or something??

 

 **Hope:** ;)

 

 **Spidey:** @scott youre doomed

 

 **thorgasm:** @scott do you want to have kids with me

 

 **Scott:** uhm??????? 

 

 **thorgasm:** is this what rejection feels like

 

 **Sam:** is it painful? idk ive never felt it :/

 

 **Rhodey:** wow.

 

 **thorgasm:** youre a cocky one aren't you

 

 **Sam:** idk why dont you find out ;)

 

 **Hope:** is this what my life has come to @scott whyd you drag me into this

 

 **Scott:** shuri would have actually murdered me if I didnt.

 

 **Hope:** okay? and that's my problem now is it???

 

 **Scott:** cold blooded

 

 **Hope:** maybe so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
